I got the most fantastic question the other day: 

“What in the hell do you do when you're sad, Mrs. Ashley, the happiness enthusiast?”

GULP 😅

I love this question for many reasons, but mostly because it acknowledges the fact that even if you’re a life coach, you've studied happiness for 10+ years 🙋‍♀️, have supported hundreds of humans in creating happy lives 🙋‍♀️ and have a business that revolves solely around joy 🙋‍♀️, a bitch still be sad sometimes 🥲

Sometimes, all the time. 

Why Is Sadness So Uncomfortable?

In all honesty, I hate feeling sad. It's one of the most uncomfortable emotions for me to feel. And there's a lesson in that, isn't there?

What feels so uncomfortable/unsafe about feeling sad?

Is it the constant euphoria and joy that is portrayed on social media that creates a sense of shame around the sadness?

Did I learn as a young girl that being sad isn't tolerated?

There's truly so much to unpack here - I think I'll talk about it more on The Connection Project. 

10 Things I Do When I’m Sad

For now, I'll share the top 10 things I do when I feel sad: 

1. I allow myself to be sad 😭 I lay on the couch, cry, munch, watch murder shows, The Office and cuddle Winston. If I catch myself spiraling, I skip to #2 and #3. 👇
   

2. I journal and explore the feelings ✍️ I do my best to get curious about what's triggering the emotion, rather than judging it.
   

3. I try not to isolate myself 🫂 and instead seek out meaningful connection. This is by far the hardest thing for me to do when I'm at a low point - and oftentimes the most helpful.
   

4. I avoid alcohol and social media 🚫 so I am less likely to get triggered further, deeper, harder into sadness, comparison, disappointment.
   

5. I listen to music 🎶 specifically this playlist. Or, if I just want to feel sad for awhile I'll listen to this playlist.
   

6. I escape outside 🌲 to one of my favorite places that makes me feel connected and safe.
   

7. I do something generous 🤲 for myself and someone else, big or small. Maybe I make a donation, buy myself a green juice or give someone a heartfelt compliment. This is truly an instant mood-booster (and scientifically proven).
   

8. I make sure I exercise or move my body 🛼 There's no better way to move energy or emotions and get those endorphins pumping. Sometimes I Sad Girl Walk or peddle like a maniac on my Peloton.
   

9. I engage with inspirational material 💫 be that a podcast or a book I'm reading.
   

10. I clean or organize something in my home 🧽 This may be a distraction, but it feels productive without needing to leave the house in my Sad Girl sweats.
    

I know. There's nothing totally groundbreaking here, but you know what? It works.

What sadness needs the most is to be acknowledged and heard. The more we ignore it, the bigger it'll get.

**I'm not a therapist (yet) but this is a reminder that if you struggle with depression and need extra support, be that a therapist or medication, seek it. Sometimes even when we have a ton of amazing resources, it's not enough, and that's ok. 

Are you struggling right now? Feeling a little lost? In a funk? Download your Journaling For When You're Struggling Workbook below.