Did you ever think your Happiness Coach would say those words out loud? Well, you don't read this blog for bullshit - you read it for truth, vulnerability and tools that actually help you live your best life so here it goes:

Unhappiness doesn't need fixing - it needs compassion.

The truth is, I've been unhappy several times in the last month. And don't get me wrong, I could temporarily “fix” my unhappiness with a couple White Claws, Netflix, or a good hour-scroll on Instagram, but unhappiness, as crappy as it feels, isn't inherently bad. And as a matter of fact, our attachment to happiness is what often leads to unhappiness, as well as addiction.

Does being unhappy this last month mean that my life is bad? Absolutely not. As a matter of fact, there is nothing wrong with my life. The struggle isn’t necessarily what’s causing unhappiness, but what we believe about unhappiness.

For many of us when we are unhappy we think “unhappy = bad = get the fuck out. This needs to change, this isn’t good, make it stop.” **Insert here: booze, hours on Netflix or Instagram, making pointless purchases on Amazon or any preferred activity that numbs you the fuck out.

BUT. What if instead we met that unhappiness with curiosity and compassion?

What if, instead of trying to desperately claw our way out of unhappiness, we welcomed it?

What if the more unhappiness we allowed ourselves to feel, the more space it made for happiness?

Unhappiness and happiness are not mutually exclusive. The two can coexist - they often do. And what I've found is that when I finally loosen my grip on happiness and stop trying to force myself into an inauthentic experience, happiness will easily find me again.

We can be unhappy, and still love our life.

We can be unhappy, and still be incredibly grateful for who we are and where we are.

I think that if we all just stop trying to avoid unhappiness, stop masking it with booze, food and social media and feel what the fuck it is that we’re feeling, we’ll ultimately be happier.

Here’s my expert advice - if you’re unhappy:

Do nothing: Remember, unhappiness doesn't need to be fixed because unhappiness isn't bad. See what happens if you go about your day allowing what's coming up for you instead of fighting it, or desperately trying to change it.

Get curious: Self reflection with curiosity is one of the most powerful tools you can use. What triggered this unhappiness? Was there a thought, a conversation, an experience, a memory, a craving that triggered this feeling? Your awareness will then guide you to your next step.

Be compassionate toward yourself: I mean let's be honest, feeling unhappy isn't fucking fun. But it's part of the human experience. Take a moment to place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and say “it's ok. I'm safe. This sucks, but I've got this. I love you." Something this simple can drastically change your relationship with unhappiness.

Feel it all: Cry, scream, wail, vent, punch a pillow, break a dish, rage walk, give up for 5 minutes, put your middle fingers up to the sky and say fuck it. The more you feel, the more you heal.

What if this is still your best fucking life? You can be living your best life, and also be struggling in your relationship, dealing with digestive issues, or be working to get out of debt. Your best life does not include perfection. Absolutely yes, some things needs to be adjusted, shifted, altered. But loving yourself through this is a non-negotiable part of your happiness journey.

What do you think about unhappiness? What's your relationship with unhappiness? Where are you feeling most unhappy at the moment? Comment below and let me know!

P.S. My coaching packages are going up August 1st from $495/month to $750/month. I currently have 2 spots left under the current price. If you've been struggling with feeling stuck, unhappy, doubtful or even hopeless at times, apply for a coaching 6 or 12 month package with me by clicking the link below.