What Happiness Isn't
I'm writing this newsletter today through clenched teeth, uncertainty, exhaustion and fear (if you haven't noticed, I'm a couple days late sending out my weekly musing to y'all).
We have a very scary thing happening with a family member that I may talk about at a later date. As we navigate the emotions and circumstances that these last couple days have brought us, it's reminding me what happiness isn't.
Ya see, we are literally being sold happiness all the time. It can come in the way of a new diet, an instagram feed or picture, advertisement, product, a new course, or the next binge-worthy show. And because we are largely shown smiling, happy faces, celebrations, wins and successes, we can unconsciously start to believe that we, too, should be happy - even when we aren't.
The worst part? We make ourselves wrong about our unhappiness and believe that something about us needs to be fixed.
Your unhappiness isn't wrong - it's real.
Here's what happiness isn't:
Happiness isn't “pushing through”
Happiness isn't “staying positive”
Happiness isn't “putting on a happy face"
Happiness isn't “working hard in spite of your challenges"
Happiness isn't “looking on the bright side”
Happiness isn't “perfection”
Luckily, I've been doing this whole happiness thing for awhile so I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt what happiness actually is:
Happiness is authenticity. Period.
Happiness is truth. True happiness doesn't ask you to diminish, avoid or deny your raw, honest feelings for the sake of “happiness.”
Happiness is also uniquely defined by you, which is the process I walk you through in the 108 Day Happy As Fuck Habit Journal.
And although there isn't some perfect happiness formula, there are happiness habits that you can form to help you anchor into happiness (or neutrality) no matter what is going on around you.
For the last couple days my happiness habits have looked like:
Drinking water (nothing specific here, just drinking water when I remember)
Boat-loads of compassion and grace
Journaling when I feel like it
Cleaning and organizing
Whole-hearted guilt-free permission to cancel, reschedule and postpone what I can, when I can.
Beautiful human, happiness is not about fixing unhappiness. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing.