What I Do When I’m Sad: A Guide for Women
I got the most fantastic question the other day:
“What in the hell do you do when you're sad, Mrs. Ashley, the happiness enthusiast?”
GULP 😅
I love this question for many reasons, but mostly because it acknowledges the fact that even if you’re a life coach, you've studied happiness for 10+ years 🙋♀️, have supported hundreds of humans in creating happy lives 🙋♀️ and have a business that revolves solely around joy 🙋♀️, a bitch still be sad sometimes 🥲
Sometimes, all the time.
Why Is Sadness So Uncomfortable?
In all honesty, I hate feeling sad. It's one of the most uncomfortable emotions for me to feel. And there's a lesson in that, isn't there?
What feels so uncomfortable/unsafe about feeling sad?
Is it the constant euphoria and joy that is portrayed on social media that creates a sense of shame around the sadness?
Did I learn as a young girl that being sad isn't tolerated?
There's truly so much to unpack here - I think I'll talk about it more on The Connection Project.
10 Things I Do When I’m Sad
For now, I'll share the top 10 things I do when I feel sad:
I allow myself to be sad 😭 I lay on the couch, cry, munch, watch murder shows, The Office and cuddle Winston. If I catch myself spiraling, I skip to #2 and #3. 👇
I journal and explore the feelings ✍️ I do my best to get curious about what's triggering the emotion, rather than judging it.
I try not to isolate myself 🫂 and instead seek out meaningful connection. This is by far the hardest thing for me to do when I'm at a low point - and oftentimes the most helpful.
I avoid alcohol and social media 🚫 so I am less likely to get triggered further, deeper, harder into sadness, comparison, disappointment.
I listen to music 🎶 specifically this playlist. Or, if I just want to feel sad for awhile I'll listen to this playlist.
I escape outside 🌲 to one of my favorite places that makes me feel connected and safe.
I do something generous 🤲 for myself and someone else, big or small. Maybe I make a donation, buy myself a green juice or give someone a heartfelt compliment. This is truly an instant mood-booster (and scientifically proven).
I make sure I exercise or move my body 🛼 There's no better way to move energy or emotions and get those endorphins pumping. Sometimes I Sad Girl Walk or peddle like a maniac on my Peloton.
I engage with inspirational material 💫 be that a podcast or a book I'm reading.
I clean or organize something in my home 🧽 This may be a distraction, but it feels productive without needing to leave the house in my Sad Girl sweats.
I know. There's nothing totally groundbreaking here, but you know what? It works.
What sadness needs the most is to be acknowledged and heard. The more we ignore it, the bigger it'll get.
**I'm not a therapist (yet) but this is a reminder that if you struggle with depression and need extra support, be that a therapist or medication, seek it. Sometimes even when we have a ton of amazing resources, it's not enough, and that's ok.
Are you struggling right now? Feeling a little lost? In a funk? Download your Journaling For When You're Struggling Workbook below.